Potential

What potential is inherent in the state of being human? One voice urges us to live as if there were nothing in our way, while another cautions us to consider our limits. Throwing ourselves outside those limits is dangerous. It risks us - our comfort, our sanity, the futures we plan for ourselves, and sometimes our very lives. But what if we had no limits? Of course, experience will quickly teach us that we do, so the question is merely theoretical. Here's a better one: What if we acknowledged our limits, took a deep breath, and stepped right over them?

Why would we do that, though? Surely there is no reason to risk everything unless we are fully convinced that whatever we might discover in that place beyond ourselves would be worth the everything we were risking. For that kind of conviction we cannot look to our own hearts. We cannot even look to others. We must look higher. Only in reaching for the heavens can we find the place where our abilities end and Something beyond them must intervene, or we are lost. In that place we are forced to cry for help. Unless we are confident that we will be answered and not only answered but aided, we are not ready to go there. But we're never ready. That's the point. We cannot have full confidence that everything will go in any way we could hope or imagine because the act of stepping beyond our abilities, beyond the facts of our acknowledged failures and incompetencies, requires us to experience what we cannot experience until we surrender our confidence to Something more trustworthy than ourselves.

I'd like to try something with you. Think of something you know you can't do. It doesn't have to be what you consider grand or heroic. Just anything: running more than a mile, singing in front of others, looking over the edge of a cliff, water skiing. You have to be firmly convinced that you can't do it. No cheating, especially at this point.

Once you've chosen an impossible feat, decide why it's impossible. Are you out of shape? Are you tone deaf? Afraid of heights? Afraid you'll drown? Whatever it is that makes the feat impossible, acknowledge it.

Now do it. You know you can't. But pretend that you and someone you love are both going to die if it isn't done. I'm serious. This isn't just for fun. You HAVE to do this! It's all up to you, but...you'll fail. So where do you turn?

Try this: right before you begin the impossible-feat-that-must-be-done, pray. Then don't try to do it yourself. Remind yourself again and again that there is Something beyond you. You can't do this. He can. Believe it.


If you don't really believe, there's no way this is going to work. You have to step past the point where you have any consolation or confidence. Just try it.

Whether or not the feat is successful, please share your thoughts or any lessons you learned. Thank you.

Courage

What is courage? It cannot be merely the opposite of fear. I have experienced a lack of fear for most of my life, and it has come to me lately that I have felt like a fearless person only because I had every opportunity to be unafraid. I had a comfortable, relatively stable home with two parents who never once threatened divorce in my presence. I had their love and fairly consistent discipline. I had a mother who seldom demonstrated fear, or at least anything I could recognize as fear. In other words, I was the daughter of a strong woman, and it came naturally to be strong. I had brothers with whom to share adventures. My talents and strengths were developed, and I rarely stepped outside them beyond an occasional foray into mathematics, which was only a challenge because it wasn't my favorite subject. I attempted things I thought were difficult, but truth be told, life was so easy. I think I often pretended to be stretching toward the limits of my abilities, but it was false humility, which is the most cowardly form of pride. My home and family were solid; my whole life seemed a constant. I felt brave. I felt strong because I had never been broken.

Now, as I look ahead to the years of my adulthood, I am drawn almost irresistibly toward adventures and challenges, the like of which I have not yet encountered. In contemplating the course of my life, I have finally been forced to ask the question, "Am I able?" So is it courage to choose a course in which I may answer, "Yes," and then to excel in that course? Or is it courage to choose what is beyond me and answer instead, "No, but I trust I will be made able when the time comes"?

I have not struggled with my own smallness or even recognized it so much at any other point in my life. Will I choose a life my size? Anyone who knows me knows the answer: Of course not! But what will become of me when I choose the life I know I must choose sooner or later? Will I be supported, or will the ground fall out from under me? Will I find courage, or will I find myself huddled in a corner weeping and completely overcome in the face of battle?

I don't know the answer to any of these questions. I think courage comes when we decide we don't have to know. I'm not talking of recklessness - of pursuing a path for which we are ill-equipped when we are meant to pursue a different one. Rather, I think courage demands that we lay aside our need to know what comes next and to know that we can handle it. Perhaps courage is less in our strength and more in admitting our weakness and agreeing to do what cannot be done. Perhaps courage is not finding the power within ourselves, as so much of our culture would have us believe, and more in trusting the Power that is beyond us and above everything.

I welcome your thoughts.

Rest

Monday:  You worked on a PowerPoint presentation for your journalism class until one o'clock, a.m. Get up at seven o'clock, a.m. Make yourself presentable by seven forty-five. Rush to the cafeteria to grab breakfast and take it with you to journalism by eight o'clock. Take good notes between bites of bagel and sips of coffee. Class at nine. Class at ten. Class at eleven. Lunch at twelve. Print out Spanish homework at half past twelve and get to class at one. Homework until two fifty. Writing Center at three. Homework until half past six. Dinner until seven. Homework until ten or eleven. Bedtime.

Tuesday:  Up at eight, a.m. Writing Center staff meeting at nine. No breakfast. Class at half past nine. Early lunch/meeting with professor at eleven. Homework. WC at two. Homework. Dinner at 5:30. Class at 6:30. Homework until 9:30. Stay up with friend until 11:00 because you've both had too much caffeine just in order to stay awake. Bed.

Wednesday:  7:00 a.m. - up! (You decline the day's invitation by hitting snooze.) 7:15- UP! (OK, OK!) ready by 7:50. run! snatch b'fast. run! 8:00 - class. 9:00 - class. 10:00 - class. 11:00 - class. 12:00 - yb interview over lunch. 1:00 - class. 2:00 - gather books and computer for hw...change earrings (You grabbed the first ones you saw this morning with no thought to whether they actually added anything to your appearance.) ...pass mirror... (You are wearing two different earrings, by the way.) sigh deeply...head to student center for hw...open computer...sigh...(In the student center, two of your fellow students have fallen asleep, with half-a-dozen more quickly following. Only one appears lucid and productive, and he isn't you.) sigh...pray...

This has been my week so far, and it's fairly typical. Many of those which follow will be much busier. And I have it terribly easy compared to a good number of my acquaintances. I'm letting you know all this, dear reader, not to ask pity for either myself or my friends. I simply wish to question the status quo.

I feel this is a good time to insert a clarification which my initial post may not have made. Ancora Imparo is a blog of questions, not of answers. The very title means "I am still learning." (I confess I lifted it from Michelangelo.) I often struggle with pride, and this is part of my effort to humble myself. I may occasionally offer an opinion, but I don't want you to take anything I say as though I meant to be telling you definitive truth. I want to hear your opinions and derive from them whatever wisdom you have to offer. The idea is to exchange ideas and consider them one-by-one. So decide for yourself which of my musings can help you seek answers, which provide an opportunity for you to help others find answers, and which speak to your soul and situation.

That said, let us continue. My topic is rest because I am learning its value with every passing day.  My question is this: How do we find peace while bettering ourselves and contributing to the world?

Here at college, I feel I am accomplishing only one of these goals: bettering myself. It is the most self-focused of the three. I don't say "selfish" because I think my education will prepare me to better serve the world. However, there is no point in focusing on personal growth unless we intend to one day use it for other persons.

We so seldom reach outside ourselves. These days, it seems that all my conversations are either all business or mere polite exchanges. We pass friends in the halls and say, "Hey! How are you?" to which they almost inevitably reply, "Doing good, thanks," whether they are or not because neither conversational participant has time for the truth. This should not be.

There is certainly something to be said for the concept of the Sabbath - one day of the week dedicated to resting and reorganizing our thoughts, plans, and priorities. I find that weeks in which I dedicate one day as a Sabbath tend to go much more smoothly. The more my life fills up, the more I become dependent on this day for my own sanity. But the goal of the Sabbath is to repair our individual relationships with God and rethink our own lives. So where does that leave community and fellowship?  How do we find time to cultivate meaningful relationships with one another?

I have no answer, nor even an approach to one for the questions I have posed, so I leave you with the challenge of helping me find one. Please give me and your fellow readers any thoughts you have on this post, and perhaps we can arrive at some sort of conclusion together.

Thank you for reading. :)

Apology

To those who are wondering if I am planning to post again or answer the comment on my last post, please forgive my temporary negligence.  I greatly appreciate those who have followed or commented so far, and I don't intend to leave you hanging much longer.  I've been busy preparing for the school year.  Please check back in about a week.  Thank you!

Valkyrie

I recently watched the movie Valkyrie and ended it in silent tears.  For those of you who haven't seen the film, it deals with World War II Germany and some of the heroes who tried to put an end to Hitler's horrific government.  The men and women who orchestrated this assassination attempt were German.  They loved their country and died defending it.  But they died, and Hitler lived on after them.

A question lingered in my mind as the credits rolled.  Was it worth it?  Most would say these heroes were unsuccessful.  Yes, they gave their lives for a cause they believed in, but they failed to remove Hitler from power.  The enemy of Germany and the world triumphed over them.  It wasn't right.  It wasn't fair.  Was it worth their lives?  I believe it was.



One of my favorite quotes from the movie was spoken by Major-General Henning von Tresckow (Kenneth Branagh) as he tried to persuade Colonel Stauffenberg (Tom Cruise) to join what might have become a revolution.  He said, "We have to show the world that not all of us are like him.  Otherwise, this will always be Hitler's Germany."  I don't know how true to history the film is or if Tresckow ever spoke those words.  However, his cinematic representation certainly made a point.

Did these German revolutionaries succeed, then?  They did.  They did because today I am inspired by their courage.  They succeeded because true heroes never die, even if they are not as well-remembered as they deserve, and they succeeded because the country they loved is doubtless stronger and freer today than it would have been without them.  And the truth I take away from their tale is that if we live well enough that we inspire others to live similarly, it matters not whether we succeed or fail in our own plans; we have won victory for good.  Hitler's triumph, like any triumph of evil, was not permanent.

I'd appreciate your thoughts and opinions on this.  Do you see things the way I do, or do you disagree?  Were the heroes of Operation Valkyrie successful?  Was it worth their lives?  Help me think about this topic from fresh angles.  Thank you!

Intro to Life

Hello, world.  My name is Jordan Kelly, and I've decided to start a blog.  I believe that life is a learning experience no classroom could contain.  Here I will attempt to enhance my life and yours through the written word.

I have many hopes for this blog, the simplest of these being the growth of discipline.  I want to live life to the fullest and create something new every day, but I have never stuck to that goal as firmly as I should with my writing.  Perhaps this will help me, but my overall goal is much broader and less centered on myself.  I wish to chronicle the quest of life - a series of hopes, dreams, questions, and points where who a person is meets who she can be and she decides which of those people will live.

I myself will play the protagonist.  I will tell of life as I see it and describe the paths I walk and their effects on me; the people I meet and what I learn from them; the battles I fight, the weapons I use, and the injuries I sustain; and perhaps most importantly the havens along the way where I find wisdom, peace, and love. I invite you to join in this tale by sharing your own stories, opinions, questions, and even criticisms.  During our journey together, we will interact with inspiration, intellect, hope, and truth.  We will explore the battle between good and evil.  We will meet strong opinions.  Hopefully most of us will greet them with respect for their bearers even if we cannot respect the opinions borne.  However, I am well aware that some have never learned such respect, and I will face these people without fear or anger when they appear.  If you feel you can do the same, please join me.  If not, I do not mind standing alone once in awhile.

This is my quest - to become who I can be instead of remaining who I am.  I share the quest with you for your benefit and mine.  Please challenge me, question me, encourage me, criticize me, heal me, wound me, rebuke me, respect me, love me, and hate me as you will, on one condition: come with me!